Let me tell you a story about the “One that got away”.
Back in my UBC days, I used to read Baseball Weekly newspaper to keep up with the San Francisco Giants (this was before the Internets got so big and so accessible). Then around March Madness time, I started to read USA Today for their tournament coverage. One day as I was sitting in a random English Lit class, I was minding my own business reading my USA today and SHE sat beside me to ask “When you’re done with that, do you mind if I read it?” Whoa. Girls never read the sports section of USA TOday.
We got to talking, she was a Scottie Pippen fan. We talked more and more basketball and I was hooked. How often do you find a girl that likes sports, and one that you can tease how she likes Scottie? We got to having lunch. Ultimately, we went out on a date.
She was from Ladner, and I was living in East Van at the time. I can’t even remember where we went, but it was good enough that we went out again. And again. I was invited to hang out with her friends in Ladner, going out rollerblading at all hours of the night (The terrain is REALLY really flat in Ladner), and eventually was invited to hang out with her friends at Ladner Beach (I never even knew that existed!!). Of course, that fateful night, I brought my forever wingman D.Asia, which sparked one of the most epic nights of my entire life. I Swear, when I get my TV show deal, I’m going to film an episode around this Ladner Beach night.
D.Asia was brilliant as the wingman. He did everything well, and to the tee. It was a great summer night, and we had to put out our own bonfire at the end. The epic part of the night was the conversation in the car with me and D.Asia about how I just couldn’t pull the trigger on a relationship with a girl from Ladner, the gas money alone was going to ruin me (Yes, I was that superficial back then). Add to that, I was driving a 79 Pontiac Lemans, so the gas was not easy to come by back then to fill the tank. He was trying to convince me to at least see where things go, and wait til the end of summer. I was adamant that it was just too far, and should have counted as a long distance relationshp. Then it happened, the tailpipe cracked off and sparks started flying out of the back of the car somewhere between the Ladner Tunnel and Richmond Steveston Highway. Our lives weren’t flashing in front of us, but we certainly were like “What the Fcuk??” Suffice to say, we pulled over. I didn’t even have BCAA back then (I was in University), so we used twine, hockey sticks, and somehow drove home with the windows down, all the way back to East Van. Shoot.
I took it as an omen that I really should not have been driving to Ladner. I never told her what happened the rest of that night, about the tailpipe and my cussing and freaking out. Again, the wingman came through with flying colors.
I still saw her in class, but we just kept things chill. I was an idiot back then. I still am now.
She eventually married and has two kids. We email from time to time, but never talk about ‘what if’.
Song of the Day: Forever Love – Color Me Badd
Happy Bday to a trusted true friend and compatriot, Big C. Here’s someone that no matter what the situation, no matter what crisis, or what crossroads you come to, you would want his two cents on the situation before you make a move. Thanks for all your advice, Insight, and just plain rappin. Cheers.
Robert Half International
When the time comes to leave a job you’ve tired of, remember that you’ll leave much more than an empty desk behind. Colleagues may be more likely to remember your conduct in the final days than the high points of your tenure. Make sure you don’t erase years of hard work and positive goodwill with a less-than-graceful exit.
Here’s how to leave with your good reputation intact:
Avoid reaching the boiling point. Many workers are feeling increased stress and frustration on the job. A Robert Half survey found that 41 per cent of workers polled indicated that their current workloads are too heavy. But don’t let the growing tension you may feel cause you to lose your cool and lash out at your manager or colleagues.
If you feel you’re reaching the breaking point, take it as a sign that you might want to consider moving on. But until you accept another job offer, try to keep your frustration in check. It may help to blow off steam with trusted friends outside the workplace or to focus more on activities that bring you enjoyment, such as exercise, spending time with family or going to the movies.
Resign gracefully. Don’t dash off a terse resignation letter or march triumphantly into your manager’s office right after sealing the deal on your new job offer. Allow adequate time to frame your message.
Especially if you’re resigning in writing, let your email or letter sit overnight before submitting it. Ask an objective friend or family member to review what you’ve written to ensure you don’t come across as angry or bitter. And, although you may be beyond ready to take your leave, give adequate notice and offer to help with the transition. All of this serves to reinforce your professionalism.
Be candid but constructive. Do agree to participate in an exit interview, assuming one is offered. But don’t use it as an opening to release your frustrations and badmouth colleagues. While it’s fine to be candid, avoid personal attacks.
You’ll be doing everyone a favour — while maintaining your reputation — if you instead offer constructive criticism that can be used to improve the work environment. Also, your parting words will be given much more weight if you don’t come across as disgruntled.
Don’t gloat or broadcast your glee. Technology has certainly made it easier for dissatisfied employees to make a dramatic — and high profile — departure if they so desire. But no matter how aggrieved you may feel, resist the urge to send an email to everyone on the distribution list telling them how you really feel about the company.
And don’t use social media to nominate your soon-to-be-former manager for the sequel to the movie “Horrible Bosses.” Doing so could come back to haunt you later in your career.
Don’t leave the good behind. There are usually some positive aspects to even a negative job situation. Maybe you’ve had supportive colleagues who you don’t want to turn your back on. Not to mention, thanks to tools such as Facebook, it’s difficult to completely sever professional ties once you leave a position even if you want to. It’s easier to just leave on good terms by thanking those who’ve helped you in your position or offered guidance.
It’s also wise to mend fences with those you’ve had problems with. You never know how professional paths might intertwine again, so why not leave as many connections as you can intact?